


A Mistaken Belief of Love

by Eggrollio



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: AI going against protocol, Amputation, Benrey fights back against his code, Benrey gets timelines mixed up, Benrey is semi-aware, Benrey's AI is broken, Boys In Love, Dirty Talk, Face-Fucking, Fluff and Smut, Gordon Feetman, Gordon Freeman is a cock slut, Gordon is aware, Love/Hate, M/M, Major Character Injury, Making HOT love, Making Out, Mild OoC, NSFW, Non-Canonical Character Backstory, Remembering past timelines, Rough Oral Sex, Simulation, am i sorry? yes. am i staring at the hits number solemnly with a high amount of regret? yes., god help me, writing this fanfic destroyed the last of my dignity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23809135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggrollio/pseuds/Eggrollio
Summary: *Spoilers for some of the content in ACT 4!*"To his surprise, he remembers. The light, fluttery feeling fills him with unwanted joy. Benry’s fingers twitch with anticipation, his eyes moving slowly towards Gordon’s left hand. A word plants itself firmly into his mind and his voice gets stuck in his throat.Love.How odd that one single word can change someone’s perspective of things."-------------Benrey remembers and that comes at a cost for all parties involved.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benry/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 21
Kudos: 262





	A Mistaken Belief of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a joke but then I spent two weeks trying to write this story. I ended up going through three major changes in the plot with a gun pointed directly to the back of my head. I've finished it now, but at what cost?
> 
> Takes place at the end of ACT 3: Part 3 and in the beginning of ACT 4: Part 1
> 
> im sorry

The roof is eerily quiet. Above, the stars twinkle restlessly, much like Benry. He sits out on the concrete floor, breathing in the fresh air as the moon above lights up the surrounding area as best as it could. Closing his eyes, he could almost see his birthplace, the city glowing brilliantly against the darkness. He could almost feel the winter chill against his soft face, reveling in the nip of cold it left as the breeze flung open his bedroom window. In times like those, he’d light his dad’s old lantern and pretend it was a campfire.

Street lights lit up more than Benry’s tiny dying lantern could, that’s for sure.

He opens his eyes slowly, wishing to savor the lights before they were ripped from his grasp. Benry sighs, dragging his hands down his face in utter exhaustion. He wants to go home and play his fucking Playstation 3 with Playstation Plus (1 month). Heavenly Sword is waiting for him back home! 

Tossing his helmet near his unfastened bullet-proof vest, Benry lays down and rests his hands underneath his head. Legs crossed, he watches the various constellations inch slowly across the sky. It’s rare to have a moment of silence like this; to reflect on the day without no U.S. military or The Science Team™ or… Gordon Freeman bothering him. Benry extends an arm up into the air, hand almost grasping the stars above. They dance across the void, masking what’s truly out there. He clenches his hand, wishing he could just _leave._ Leave like the stars will once the sun comes up and scares them away. 

Silently, Benry drops his hand and rests it against his chest. His dream is whispered into the night, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to focus on one particularly bright star. 

“Benry?” A gruff, sleep-occupied voice rings out through the roof. Immediately, Benry’s night is ruined and his dreams have been flushed down the drain like a dead goldfish. Rolling onto his side, hand on the cold concrete, he pushes himself up to sit properly. Gordon gives a gentle smile, cradling his amputated arm close to his chest as he wanders over. Even in the darkness, Benry could make out the rigid orange edges and the sleek grey metal on his HEV suit. It’s like it shines in the moonlight or something. What a fucking distraction. 

“I didn’t expect to see you up here.” Gordon muses, towering over Benry. The guard looks up, eyes lidded before he whips his head away and huffs indignantly. 

“Have a nice tumble, idiot?” Benry spat out, grinding his teeth as he absentmindedly picks at his sleeve. His nails dig into his rough palm, leaving red angry crescents in their wake. There’s silence from Gordon as if he’s taken aback by Benry’s hostile attitude. He can hear his lips part before they abruptly close. In the next few minutes, they sit in thick silence, barely a word exchanged between each other. Mutely, Gordon sits down beside Benry and looks out into the horizon. 

The towering rocky formations cast dramatic shadows across the landscape as the sun slowly creeps up in the distance. The clouds part for the sun and streaks of orange overtake the dark sky relentlessly. It’s… pretty, Benry thinks. Waves of orange light bathe the area and Benry has the shield himself from the harsh torrents of sunlight coming their way. Wordlessly, Gordon can’t help but stare at the man beside him. He feels his stomach flip and his throat tightens as a result. The butterflies won’t stop fluttering inside his chest and Gordon has to fight back a growing smile. 

Quickly, he trains his eyesight towards the roof, face red as he bites his bottom lip. 

“Thanks.” He whispers, fingers rubbing against each other as he tries to calm his breathing. Gordon rakes a shaky hand through his tousled brown hair, sighing through his mouth as he continues. “For propping me up and cocooning my _wound_. You didn’t have to do that.” It hurts to say wound, especially to the man who fucking caused it. Wound is too soft of a word in Gordon’s opinion. 

Slowly, Benry lowers his arm to look at Gordon with an inquisitive look. He scoffs.

“Of course I had to do it. You would have been no use to-” _Him,_ “-to us dead. Fucking idiot. Use your small ass brain.” Gordon rolls his eyes, groaning with aggravation. With a hard push off the ground, he rises to his feet as he dusts off his suit. He finds talking to Benry fruitless, much less thanking him. The guy can’t take _one_ compliment! Looking back at Benry, who’s now studying him from below, Gordon can’t help but see that familiar tiredness in his eyes; a yearning for more than _this_ shitshow. It’s a trait the whole group shares, a sentiment happily shared. 

Tiredly sighing, he removes his glasses and rubs his dark eyes.

Time is ticking. Benry could feel the beads of sweat trail down the back of his neck, disappearing into the collar. _Ticking till what?_ The roof becomes a little bit brighter as the sun makes its harrowing journey up into the sky. Something’s pushing deep within him, compelling him to make a move. He pauses in confusion, mouth drying up as he thinks of _why_ he needs to make a move. Benry racks his brain for an answer and not long after, something clicks deep within him. Something _primal_ , seeded within the deepest confines of his mind. 

To his surprise, he remembers. The light, fluttery feeling fills him with unwanted joy. Benry’s fingers twitch with anticipation, his eyes moving slowly towards Gordon’s left hand. A word plants itself firmly into his mind and his voice gets stuck in his throat.

 _Love._

How odd that one single word can change someone’s perspective of things.

Benry remembers all the times in their childhood where they played and chatted and reveled in each other’s company. He remembers the time when they weaved their friendship into something more and suddenly Gordon started sneaking into Benry’s room, aching for more than just a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

For the first time in his life, he feels _alive._ Every nerve in his body is on fucking FIRE and Benry finds himself loving every second of it. His cheeks turn a rosy red as he gulps and opens his mouth to speak. Gordon looks down at him expectantly, eyebrows raised as he watches Benry quickly make up his mind and bolt straight towards him.

Gordon Freeman’s lips are very soft. Benry finds this out first. With arms hooked around Gordon’s neck, he pulled him down and showed the man how he _truly_ feels. This action is ten times better than using fucking words. It’s sloppy, tender and Gordon barely reciprocates the kiss. Yet, Benry thought _this_ is what Heaven feels like. This is what you’d feel the moment you step through the gates and the angels blow their horn. Pure and utter bliss. Suddenly, Benry stops and he leans away with a soft breath exchanged between them. He’s cherry red, staring at how wet Gordon’s lip looks. 

Eyes lidded, Gordon merely breathes out slowly before chasing after him. Fuck all known laws of aviation, he was about to make this motherfucker _fly!_ With his good hand, he pushes Benry up against the ventilation shafts, lips trailing down his jawline and onto the thick column of his neck. Gordon’s fingers fumble on his light blue button-up, popping off each individual button as he goes down. The suit’s hand textures, although a bit jarring, are welcome and warm against his skin, leaving Benry a hot mess as he pulls the man closer to him. Teeth sink into sweaty skin and Benry is left reeling, fingers slipping into Gordon’s tousled hair as he pulls and tugs and-

Something doesn’t feel right. Each kiss from the man feels like hot static against his skin. Benry’s thoughts are becoming more jumbled the more this is escalating. Gordon leans in to whisper something into Benry’s ear as he unbuttons the guard’s tight dark blue pants. His deep baritone voice is muffled as if he was underwater. What’s happening? Pushing against Gordon’s chest plate, his breathing becomes erratic as Gordon’s hands slip into his boxers and firmly grasp his penis. Light-headed and woozy, Benry holds onto Gordon’s shoulders with a shuttering sigh. 

Like fog clearing a bustling metropolis, the static makes way for a new feeling that twists his stomach around in knots. He’s feeling weak in the knees and Benry has to bite his hand to not let out the spill of moans that’ll eventually tumble out. Gordon, with a snarky grin, leans in and barely grazes Benry’s ear, biting the earlobe as he speaks. A new wave of hot static flows through his body before it tapers into pleasure.

“I can’t believe you’re a bottom.” Benry’s eyes go wide as he removes the hand from his mouth to firmly grit his teeth. With a hand snaking around his neck, inching towards Gordon’s rat tail, he bites back with his own quip. 

“A-And I can’t believe you’re a little c-cock slut.” He growls, spitting in Gordon’s face as he pulls back on the rat tail roughly. The man is quick to release his dick with a yowl, hands groping the back of his head with a grimace. Right now, his rat tail is more important than the warm spit trailing down the bridge of his nose. Gordon looks over at Benry, mostly confused before he’s pinned to the ground, heavy hands on his chest as Benry settles over his face. 

The guard licks his lips as he guides the tip of his cock to Gordon’s mouth. He’s grinning, eyes lidded as he slaps Freeman with his thick meat. 

“Look who’s the bottom now, headass. Suckle on my dick like a baby with their mother’s teat and tell me who’s the fucking bottom.” He howls with laughter. Gordon groans with annoyance, placing a steady hand on Benry’s back as he shoves him into his mouth and swallows him whole. Benry hisses out instinctively, gripping the cold concrete floor as he looks down to Gordon’s satisfied and thoroughly thrashed face. With a face full of dick, he sure looks happy. Soon, Benry finds himself thrusting into Gordon’s hot mouth as he runs a shaking hand through his sweaty jet black hair.

Red-faced, Gordon struggles to find breath due to Benry’s punishing pace to get himself off. He doesn’t mind since the nonstop moans that tumble out of his mouth seem to be fucking worth it. Gordon rakes his chewed nails down Benry’s lower back, causing the man’s spine to arch as he claws at his shirt. It’s so stuffy out here, isn’t it? With one last push, Gordon forcefully moves Benry’s hips toward his face, causing the rest of his length to sink down into his mouth more. Face flush against the man’s pubic hair and lips clamped shut around the base, Gordon revels in Benry’s howling as the knot in his stomach unravels all at once and the static turns into hot electricity bolting through his bones. 

He cums as he pulls on Gordon’s hair, toes curling as he tumbles down this rocky cliff. Benry clambers with post-climax haze, slipping his softening dick out of Gordon’s red mouth before stumbling off of his prone body. Gordon rests on his upper arms, staring at the guard before he swipes the excess of cum and slobber off of his facial hair. The jingles of Benry’s belt buckle fills the morning air, pants shimming up his thick thighs until they rest comfortably on his waist. Gordon waits until Benry looks presentable enough to look in the eye. 

“You don’t have much stamina, do you?” He asks, a shit-eating grin marring his pretty face. Benry whips his head over his shoulder, eyes narrowing as he grits his teeth with minor annoyance. 

“What?” Gordon sits up now, fixing his hair and his glasses a little. He side-eyes the guard.

“I thought we were going to do five rounds up here, non-stop sex until we wake everyone up. Missionary, doggy, cowboy—you name it.” Benry scoffs at that nonsensical idea, sliding his tie up to fasten it. 

“Stop dreaming, Feetman. I _thought_ we were on a mission? Not a fucking sexual journey to find ourselves in the “ _haze of blissful love_ ”. Fuckin’ gay ass. Go stick your dick in an anthill.” Nonchalantly, Benry pats down his light blue button-up and scoops up his helmet from the ground. There’s nothing out of place about his appearance, right? Meh, whatever. Gordon looks on, confused as his mind reels at the nickname.

“F-Feetman?” He asks. “Where the hell did you get that?” Benry stops in his tracks, mind blank as he tries to think of an answer. Unfortunately, his A.I. heaves its final sigh before it breaks completely. The only thing that can come out of his mouth is a simple ‘Huh?’, an answer that doesn’t much satisfy Gordon but he opts to drop the topic entirely. He gets on his feet, grimacing at the salty cum aftertaste in his mouth. “I’m going to sleep. You’re welcome for swallowing your own cum, asshat.” 

“Fuck youuuu! I hope you die in a fucking ditch.” Benry heinously spits out, watching as Gordon huffs and walks off toward the rest of the group proudly. Fuck, it’s as if he didn’t just take his fat gamer cock minutes earlier. What a whore. Benry picks up his helmet, fastening it to his head before he saunters over to his vest. Holding the heavy thing in his hands, he stares thoughtfully into the dark material. The orange Black Mesa logo stares back at him daringly. Rubbing a finger over the fraying stitching, Benry shoves it onto him without a second thought. 

He can’t keep getting sidetracked, despite what he _truly_ wants. Something within him aches for more of Gordon’s rough touch, yet he finds himself pushing that thought far away. _You don’t need that_ , he keeps telling himself. Walking over to the hole, Benry jumps in and lands on his feet. Everyone is still sleeping, passed out on the floor. Even the skeleton, but he could feel its piercing gaze on his back as he moves over it. Gordon sits against the wall, scratching idly at the orange plates on his legs. 

Benry twitches internally as Gordon looks up at him with his forest-green eyes and a wide smile. Fighting against his purpose, he gets down on his knees, level with Gordon, and kisses him softly. This time, he reciprocates and accepts it easily. With Benry’s hands cupping Gordon’s angular cheeks, thumbs caressing his soft skin, he figures that Gordon is the prettiest man he’s seen in a long time. Especially with that dorkish smile of his. 

Writhing and growling, his A.I. disagrees with him. It snorts heavily in the deepest confines of his mind, claws gnawing at the wires that guide his day-to-day processes. It shouldn’t be like this. This isn’t part of the script. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up-

Slowly, Benry slides to Gordon’s side, eyes closing as he presses his face into the HEV suit. The man watches Benry (his lover, perhaps?) snuggle close and, with one last shuttering sigh, shut down. He stares at the guard, resting his lips on Benry’s cold forehead as he revels in his embrace. Shutting his own eyes tight, he tries to ignore the looming figure standing in the darkness as he rests his head against Benry’s. He hates that this always happens.

 _Please_ don’t hurt him too much.

**[ERROR: UNABLE TO PULL UP CRASH SHEET]**

**[ERROR: UNABLE TO PULL UP CHARACTER DATA]**

**[ERROR: UNABLE TO RUN BACKUP SYSTEM]**

Proceed with **[MANUAL OVERRIDE]**?

⇨ **YES**

**NO**

Loading… 

**[MANUAL OVERRIDE]**

All processes are **INACTIVE**. Proceed with the **FACTORY RESET?**

⇨ **YES**

**NO**

Loading…

Complete! You may now turn on **[BENREY]**! Have fun!

**[USB DETECTED]**

**[RUNNING: XENREY.EXE]**

Loading…

Install **[XENREY.CHR]**?

⇨ **YES**

**YES**

Installing…

Loading…

Running…

Complete! You may now turn on **[BENREY]**! Have fun!

Benrey opens his eyes, blinking slowly as his processes whirr on with his awakening. He’s on the ground, cheek pressed against an old rusted elevator shaft. With a groan, he stretches and sits upright, head resting against one of the iron bars that ‘prevent’ them from escaping. Tommy notices him first, waving excitedly at the guard before poking Coomer and pointing in his direction. 

“Hello Benrey! Welcome back to the realm of the living!” His pippy voice echoes throughout the semi-large room. Bubby turns to Benrey, an eyebrow quirked up as he folds his arms in and tries to hold back a smile. 

“You two sure do like to sleep in, don’t you?” Bubby motions to Gordon, who’s currently passed out on the ground, hands waving sporadically in the air as he mumbles some nonsense. With a hand rubbing the left side of his neck and shoulder, Benrey shrugs nonchalantly. 

“It happens.” He simply states, cracking each of his fingers. Bubby purses his lips but clearly says nothing more. Instead, Coomer saddles up beside Benrey with a sharp eye, inspecting Benrey’s face before thoughtfully stroking his mustache. Leaning close, he minutely examines Benrey’s eyes. 

“Benrey?” Coomer asks, “Are you in love with Dr. Freeman?” At first, Benrey is caught off-guard with his question. Narrowing his eyes at the old scientist, he grits his teeth before training his face into a neutral stare. 

“Huh?” Benrey tilts his head, feigning confusion that certainly didn’t go over Coomer’s head. The scientist smacks his lips, humming as he leans away with the stroking of his chin.

“ _Are_ you in love with Dr. Freeman?” Coomer pushes the topic, much to the dismay of Benrey. He looks over to Bubby, who stares at Coomer with a mixture of curiosity and confusion. Looking over to Tommy, he looks worried, especially with him fidgeting in the corner as he twiddles with his fingers. Benrey, lips downturned, peers at Coomer inquisitively. 

“Wha-?” The blank stare Coomer gives him garners beads of sweat to roll down his cheeks. Darkly, Coomer tilts his head down as he shakes his head disapprovingly. 

“ **You’ve changed, Benry.** ” 

_Oh? Have I?_


End file.
